sunday scaries

* Journal from 3/29/26 at 9:45PM

Funnily enough my biggest concern from last Sunday is no longer a concern at all. I’m still worried that I’ll have to end things with Oliver, but for entirely different reasons now. Currently, my fear is that I’ll move down south— even though I haven’t heard from the job in Carlsbad since my Tuesday interview.

Though the roles I’m interviewing for don’t scare me themselves, they have made me impatient and increasingly anxious. In fact, I was nearly shaking at the thought of moving while I ran errands this morning. Luckily I’ve calmed down, but there is a very real possibility that this could be a life-defying week.

I’ve done what I could to prepare myself to make a hard decision while trying to remind myself that anything could happen. For example, I could go into my final interviews and decide I hate the team I’d work with and decide to drop out. Hopefully that doesn’t happen, but I know I will likely have to play the coming days by ear.

Wish me luck!